How do you feel being an amputee devotee?
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Re: How do you feel being an amputee devotee?
I'm an almost 50 yr old male, half of my life knowing I'm a devotee. I found out when I had stumbled upon Carol Davis' site "Amputees are beautiful" when searching for some music CDs :-) This had changed my life a lot. Suddenly so much things in my life started to make sense, I begun to understand my own feelings and most of all - I learned I was not alone. Carol's site was a treasure chest for such a newbie in the field, with pics, videos, medical articles, stories, first-hand thoughts and opinions of a real amputee. I have never get the chance to thank Carol for everything her work meant to me and changed in me.
Since then I have read quite a few other materials, opinions, explanations... from all three worlds (disabled, devotee, medical) and it has helped me to sort out my own thoughts, feelings and the view on the topic. Let's start with the most important thing ever (for every devotee):
We are not SICK. Our attraction itself doesn't make us sick. What could make us sick is the way how we handle the attraction, how we behave when driven by it. Stalking is sick, taking candid pictures and posting them on net is sick, being rude, demanding persuasive,... this all is extremely sick. Offering a friendly smile is fine. Starting a small chit-chat is fine, inviting for a coffee is fine - as long as we respect the possible rejection. Basically everything what a polite and respectful 'ordinary' (non-devotee) male would do when coming across an (able-bodied) lady that he founds pretty - is fine and there's no difference between them and us. I often use this comparison when trying to judge what is ok and what's not.
Unfortunately, the few of us that are most visible and loudest are usually stupid pigs that don't know the basics of the proper and polite behavior between ANY man and woman. They have managed to shatter our reputation to dust and made it even harder for others to come out and do what we are supposed to do. Yes, I think we and disabled people are supposed to come along together. That's how I understand the World. Almost everything comes in pair. If there are disabled persons around, there simply must be also ones who would find them attractive. Call it symmetry or duality or whatever - that's just how the world has been designed (in my opinion) and is meant to run. Based on this view, we are definitely NORMAL. We might be minor or marginal and not fit in major standards, but we are a normal part of the World and our existence makes perfect sense.
So, to answer the question from the topic - I feel content about being devotee. As somebody mentioned earlier, it has enriched my life and added more colors to it. I'm actually quite happy about it. I find the world of disabilities and disabled people even richer in its variety and diversity than the world of 'ordinary' people. And I'm glad that I, if I look at it, don't see thousands of ugly, frightening remnants of human limbs, but thousands of interesting, often cute or even outright pretty stumps or otherwise disabled limbs. I think we see more than other people.
And I don't think we are masochist or sadists or showing someone's weakness (no offense meant to the one who wrote it, I respect your view, I just wanted to illustrate how different approach we can have to the topic). Never thought like that. Although I'm aware there are different types of devotees around (could be a topic for another post, for instance devotees vs. fetishists :-) ) and they all have their own problems, specific feelings and doubts, they have to come to terms with. I might be luckier in this, since I simply adore all women in general and thus I'm not stuck with disabled ones only (even if I clearly prefer them). I can imagine it must be much harder for those with very specific and narrow preference, but still - I think all that I wrote is applicable anyway. However, I do feel for you, I really do.
I wish we all could find our place under the sun and find someone 'compatible' with us, whom we could make happy and would let him/her make us happy in return...
Since then I have read quite a few other materials, opinions, explanations... from all three worlds (disabled, devotee, medical) and it has helped me to sort out my own thoughts, feelings and the view on the topic. Let's start with the most important thing ever (for every devotee):
We are not SICK. Our attraction itself doesn't make us sick. What could make us sick is the way how we handle the attraction, how we behave when driven by it. Stalking is sick, taking candid pictures and posting them on net is sick, being rude, demanding persuasive,... this all is extremely sick. Offering a friendly smile is fine. Starting a small chit-chat is fine, inviting for a coffee is fine - as long as we respect the possible rejection. Basically everything what a polite and respectful 'ordinary' (non-devotee) male would do when coming across an (able-bodied) lady that he founds pretty - is fine and there's no difference between them and us. I often use this comparison when trying to judge what is ok and what's not.
Unfortunately, the few of us that are most visible and loudest are usually stupid pigs that don't know the basics of the proper and polite behavior between ANY man and woman. They have managed to shatter our reputation to dust and made it even harder for others to come out and do what we are supposed to do. Yes, I think we and disabled people are supposed to come along together. That's how I understand the World. Almost everything comes in pair. If there are disabled persons around, there simply must be also ones who would find them attractive. Call it symmetry or duality or whatever - that's just how the world has been designed (in my opinion) and is meant to run. Based on this view, we are definitely NORMAL. We might be minor or marginal and not fit in major standards, but we are a normal part of the World and our existence makes perfect sense.
So, to answer the question from the topic - I feel content about being devotee. As somebody mentioned earlier, it has enriched my life and added more colors to it. I'm actually quite happy about it. I find the world of disabilities and disabled people even richer in its variety and diversity than the world of 'ordinary' people. And I'm glad that I, if I look at it, don't see thousands of ugly, frightening remnants of human limbs, but thousands of interesting, often cute or even outright pretty stumps or otherwise disabled limbs. I think we see more than other people.
And I don't think we are masochist or sadists or showing someone's weakness (no offense meant to the one who wrote it, I respect your view, I just wanted to illustrate how different approach we can have to the topic). Never thought like that. Although I'm aware there are different types of devotees around (could be a topic for another post, for instance devotees vs. fetishists :-) ) and they all have their own problems, specific feelings and doubts, they have to come to terms with. I might be luckier in this, since I simply adore all women in general and thus I'm not stuck with disabled ones only (even if I clearly prefer them). I can imagine it must be much harder for those with very specific and narrow preference, but still - I think all that I wrote is applicable anyway. However, I do feel for you, I really do.
I wish we all could find our place under the sun and find someone 'compatible' with us, whom we could make happy and would let him/her make us happy in return...
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Re: How do you feel being an amputee devotee?
star_dust_sk,
So before finding Carol on the web, you already felt attracted to amputees and your were aware of that?
Had you seen any in real life?
So before finding Carol on the web, you already felt attracted to amputees and your were aware of that?
Had you seen any in real life?
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Re: How do you feel being an amputee devotee?
Romka,
I can track my attraction to disabled women back to the age of 6. I was on summer holidays at my aunt's (she was at uni at that time, that's why I can tell the year exactly, otherwise I wouldn't remember). We went to visit her friends and while adults chatted, I was watching TV. There was a movie about a lady that became paraplegic and although I cannot remember much of the plot, I do recall 2 scenes - one as she was struggling on crutches (perhaps with leg braces, but I'm not sure anymore) and the second was a scene that really swept me out. She had decided to kill herself by 'jumping' from the balcony but could not drag herself on the guardrail. I can see it in front of my eyes even now, the expression of great extortion on her face as she tried to get her lifeless body over the balcony rails. That really hit me right in the heart. I even remember that I mentioned it to my aunt on the way back home. I said something about how I admired the actress for playing such a hard role so good. I don't know why I thought it was hard to pretend paralysis, but that's what I thought then :-)
There was also another encounter that might even have happened sooner, but I cannot tell the exact year. Another holidays, this time at my grandparents and there was a girl on holidays at her grandparents in the neighborhood. She was missing three fingers on one hand and I remember how fascinated I was because her hand looked like claw with just thumb and pinky. We were really little kids, but I don't remember the exact age. She lived with her parents in another country actually and we have never met again.
But the femme fatale of my life came when I was 7. There was a young singer in my country who had a car accident and became paraplegic. She was 24, really a rising star, she played a princess in a child movie quite shortly before the accident. I remember all those news, rumors and buzz around, because it was a little national tragedy. We, school kids, had been speaking about it too. She, her story and her pictures then accompanied me through my puberty.
Of course, I didn't identify it as a sexual attraction then, definitely not at such low ages. I thought it was just a curiosity and, surely, a pity what I felt for those girls. But it puzzled me anyway because I felt strange sensations inside me when I thought of them (and I did think of them quite often) . But only when I visited Carol's website the truth struck me over the head as a hammer. Not a pity, but plain sexual attraction and desire, that's what it was. Suddenly it all started to make sense and went even further... :-)
Sorry for being long, I could not decide what to skip (and I did skip some other encounters anyway :-) )
I can track my attraction to disabled women back to the age of 6. I was on summer holidays at my aunt's (she was at uni at that time, that's why I can tell the year exactly, otherwise I wouldn't remember). We went to visit her friends and while adults chatted, I was watching TV. There was a movie about a lady that became paraplegic and although I cannot remember much of the plot, I do recall 2 scenes - one as she was struggling on crutches (perhaps with leg braces, but I'm not sure anymore) and the second was a scene that really swept me out. She had decided to kill herself by 'jumping' from the balcony but could not drag herself on the guardrail. I can see it in front of my eyes even now, the expression of great extortion on her face as she tried to get her lifeless body over the balcony rails. That really hit me right in the heart. I even remember that I mentioned it to my aunt on the way back home. I said something about how I admired the actress for playing such a hard role so good. I don't know why I thought it was hard to pretend paralysis, but that's what I thought then :-)
There was also another encounter that might even have happened sooner, but I cannot tell the exact year. Another holidays, this time at my grandparents and there was a girl on holidays at her grandparents in the neighborhood. She was missing three fingers on one hand and I remember how fascinated I was because her hand looked like claw with just thumb and pinky. We were really little kids, but I don't remember the exact age. She lived with her parents in another country actually and we have never met again.
But the femme fatale of my life came when I was 7. There was a young singer in my country who had a car accident and became paraplegic. She was 24, really a rising star, she played a princess in a child movie quite shortly before the accident. I remember all those news, rumors and buzz around, because it was a little national tragedy. We, school kids, had been speaking about it too. She, her story and her pictures then accompanied me through my puberty.
Of course, I didn't identify it as a sexual attraction then, definitely not at such low ages. I thought it was just a curiosity and, surely, a pity what I felt for those girls. But it puzzled me anyway because I felt strange sensations inside me when I thought of them (and I did think of them quite often) . But only when I visited Carol's website the truth struck me over the head as a hammer. Not a pity, but plain sexual attraction and desire, that's what it was. Suddenly it all started to make sense and went even further... :-)
Sorry for being long, I could not decide what to skip (and I did skip some other encounters anyway :-) )
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Re: How do you feel being an amputee devotee?
I have a question from "the other side of a camera" - what is it, that drives your wheel exactly? I've already heard and read classical responds, but is there any specific thing for you personally? I guess this question goes for all of you here
Patrz, mój synu - kry płyną wśród bezbrzeżnej rzeki - nad nią drzewa z gałęzi obcięte - kaleki.
Patrz, mój synu - nie wody szumią, lecz pacierze - nie kry płyną - lecz z sztandarów obdarci rycerze.
Patrz, mój synu - nie wody szumią, lecz pacierze - nie kry płyną - lecz z sztandarów obdarci rycerze.
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Re: How do you feel being an amputee devotee?
Don't know about others but I know exactly what is it what drives my wheel. I like and adore women in general, and I like them being as feminine as possible. I love all those things that make them different from us, men. And I'm also the helping guy. I'm the one who opens door for them, who offers to help with suitcase in the plane, who holds the coat for a lady friend or colleague while they slip in, who soothes them when they are weeping for whatever strange reason...
It works pretty well with able bodied girls too and I could easily stick with that. But with disabled ladies it's just somehow more natural and more rich. Handing crutches, offering a hand, tie laces, help to take care of... errr, stump. Well, that's at least the theory, because I cannot speak from real experience, for me it's just a fantasy. But I can tell it's this fantasy of "what-could-be-if" what pulls me to them.
It works pretty well with able bodied girls too and I could easily stick with that. But with disabled ladies it's just somehow more natural and more rich. Handing crutches, offering a hand, tie laces, help to take care of... errr, stump. Well, that's at least the theory, because I cannot speak from real experience, for me it's just a fantasy. But I can tell it's this fantasy of "what-could-be-if" what pulls me to them.
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Re: How do you feel being an amputee devotee?
star_dust_sk, I really appreciate your answer and a way being. Thank you But did you ever thought out side the box? This theme popped numerous times here (at least on Russian thread). What I mean, is have you ever wondered if a girl/woman/young man/man needs this help? I hope you understand the way I try to push this idea. Please don't get me wrong, and I'm not here to tell you to blow off. I'm trying to get behind the idea of being a knight.
Patrz, mój synu - kry płyną wśród bezbrzeżnej rzeki - nad nią drzewa z gałęzi obcięte - kaleki.
Patrz, mój synu - nie wody szumią, lecz pacierze - nie kry płyną - lecz z sztandarów obdarci rycerze.
Patrz, mój synu - nie wody szumią, lecz pacierze - nie kry płyną - lecz z sztandarów obdarci rycerze.
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Re: How do you feel being an amputee devotee?
I did, of course I did :-) That's the essential part of it. I said I liked them, that means I want to make them happy. If too much help would bother them then I would be missing my main target and I would be stupid.
I know pretty well how capable they are and that most of them are absolutely independent and doesn't need ANY help. But I still believe they would appreciate SOME help, especially if they know I'm not thinking they are not able to take care of themselves. Even able bodied girls appreciate some help, why disabled ones wouldn't? Just to prove to the world they can do it all? We all know they can do it and who thinks otherwise must be blind. But if you look beyond "I'm not less abled" you will see a world where a discrete help is welcome.
At least that's how I see it. No offense taken :-)
I know pretty well how capable they are and that most of them are absolutely independent and doesn't need ANY help. But I still believe they would appreciate SOME help, especially if they know I'm not thinking they are not able to take care of themselves. Even able bodied girls appreciate some help, why disabled ones wouldn't? Just to prove to the world they can do it all? We all know they can do it and who thinks otherwise must be blind. But if you look beyond "I'm not less abled" you will see a world where a discrete help is welcome.
At least that's how I see it. No offense taken :-)
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Re: How do you feel being an amputee devotee?
star_dust_sk, Thank you for this, good sir For your thoughts, placed in a metaphorical actions. A humble, yet knightly one. You have my bow
Patrz, mój synu - kry płyną wśród bezbrzeżnej rzeki - nad nią drzewa z gałęzi obcięte - kaleki.
Patrz, mój synu - nie wody szumią, lecz pacierze - nie kry płyną - lecz z sztandarów obdarci rycerze.
Patrz, mój synu - nie wody szumią, lecz pacierze - nie kry płyną - lecz z sztandarów obdarci rycerze.
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Re: How do you feel being an amputee devotee?
CNLexi,
Thank you too. I've been thinking about it a lot (I'm old enough to be able to do that :-)) I just understood few things, that's all.
Ok, time to sleep. It was really nice to speak to you.
Thank you too. I've been thinking about it a lot (I'm old enough to be able to do that :-)) I just understood few things, that's all.
Ok, time to sleep. It was really nice to speak to you.
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Re: How do you feel being an amputee devotee?
star_dust_sk, "Good night- good luck"(C)
We barely had a chat But it's just a matter of time I suppose. Take a rest and don't let your dreams drive you a stray
We barely had a chat But it's just a matter of time I suppose. Take a rest and don't let your dreams drive you a stray
Patrz, mój synu - kry płyną wśród bezbrzeżnej rzeki - nad nią drzewa z gałęzi obcięte - kaleki.
Patrz, mój synu - nie wody szumią, lecz pacierze - nie kry płyną - lecz z sztandarów obdarci rycerze.
Patrz, mój synu - nie wody szumią, lecz pacierze - nie kry płyną - lecz z sztandarów obdarci rycerze.
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