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leahronny
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Post: # 31715Post leahronny
09 Aug 2018, 01:47

I have a girlfriend, but she is soon to become a double amputee/legs, just below the knee, due to diabetes. I've always had great sex with her, I still want to continue doing so, so am looking for support here. Part of our sex involved filming us engaging in it. We are a mature couple, she is anxious of course, but the thing is, I can't imagine being without her - whilst this may sound selfish, I'm actually more worried she won't film again/keep things normal, which will THEN actually, put me off my new amputee girlfriend,she MAY even shun ME, even though I accept the situation. This must be in the minds/happened of some able-bodied partners? Thoughts? Advice?



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Taffdev
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Post: # 31842Post Taffdev
13 Aug 2018, 02:18

leahronny, I was married to a RAK who lost her leg due to diabetes at 54, five years before we met. It is a particularly nasty disease that most underestimate. We were together 9 years before sadly she passed away earlier this year as a result of complications resulting from the disease, that's how serious it can be.

You may not want to hear this, but she never came to terms with losing her leg. Though in mitigation, she went through an extremely traumatic lead up to the amputation plus post op problems and had always been extremely active prior to losing her leg.

Of course, no two people are the same and your partner may have a far more positive mental attitude to what she's about to go through. If I had to give any advice I'd say be there for her and fight her corner every step of the way - especially with the limb service if you're in the UK. They can be very good if you push them, but they need to be made to realise that your partner wants more than something to fill empty trouser legs. She can also help here by proving via doing that she wants to be mobile. Above all, make sure that she receives psychological therapy whether she wants it or not. Losing both legs is a tremendous mental blow for anyone let alone a woman, who's legs (psychologically) form part of their self perceived sexuality.

Finally, don't be selfish, her needs are going to be greater than yours. Give her time, reassurance and encouragement and I'm sure the sex life will recover.

I wish both of you well.

Dave (In the UK)



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